Spides are a Demons best friend
by crazed zombie
Summary: Spiderman gets the interest of the X-men. ONe in particular FemKurtXSpiderman


So i was sitting here and then i thought X-men Spiderman put them together its like peanut butter and jelly man come on i mean seriously they both taste great but together there phenominal. Then i thought what would be a good interesting pairing for Good old Pete cause honestly Mary Jane is a whats the word ugh punta i beleve. So i thought and thought some more and then a little more than i ate a twinkie but this lead me to a extreme thought Twinkie Twonkie German Sausege Female Kurt. Seriously thats how i came to it. Now i know why can't Spiderman be Spiderchick welll you know it just didn't set with me like a female Hulk you know there are just some things that should stay male and some things that should stay female theres a line like a male Tsunade thats just wrong. Which reminds me you remember how when she fought Kabuto he was grouping her during the whole fight. He derserved getting smacked down like a little bitch. Anywho to summarize Kurts a girl and Spierman is 15 and with the X-men ok and Kabuto is a perv that got smacked down like a little it makes me smile.

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My my would you look at that somebodys breaking the law seriously whats up with the law we got to make it stronger cause perople are always breaking it Spiderman said as he swung to a ledge and observed what was going on.

Hmm it appears that blue woman is there leader take her out first i guess Spiderman said thinking that he needed to get a life he was patrolling and he could not think of one thing he could be doing otherwise.

Hey you there this road has a weight limit and your exceeding it by alot Spiderman said getting ready to fight.

What you say you scrawny little the fat boy said clinching his fist.

Oh he burned you yo the smelly boy said laughing lightly.

Toad you idiot don't laugh at his jokes the lean muscled boy said smacking him on the head.

Hey let him laugh i been told i quit the stich Spiderman said suddenly seeing a white haired boy.

Yeah your coustume is hillarious blue and red tights the fast white haired boy said frowning.

Oh i see at least iam not a teenager with gray hair you look like your forty already Spiderman said seeing the boy flinch.

Ok you jerk your about to get whooped by the brotherhood the fat boys said takeing a fighting stance.

We don't have time for this we got to get moving the blue woman said said irratated.

Sorry but whatever your planing your going to have to deal with me oh wait whats that Spiderman said pinting behind her.

What agh the blue women screamed looking behind her and geting dropped kicked by spiderman.

I can't beleve you feel for that Spierman said laughng webs and stickging her to the wall.

Oh watch out the fast white haired boy said as Spiderman narrowly avoided his fist.

Ha your fast but stupid Spiderman said extending his fist where his spidersense told him danger was coming from and causeing the white haired boy to collied at full speed into his awaiting fist.

Get him the lean muscled boy said akeing the gorund shake.

Wow your rock my world but i am jazz fan Spiderman said shooting a web into his face and yanking him into a lightpole knocking him unconcious.

We got you yo the smelly boy said coming at him from one side as the fat boy came at him from the other.

Yeah cause no ones tried this before Spiderman said as he leapt up and shot web connect the smelly boy to the fat boys face.

Agh Toad whe nwas the last time you took a bath The fat boy said reaching for his face.

No no fat boy Spideran said jerking his arms back with his webs.

Get off he yelled thrusting around trying ot break his hold.

Ugh oh watch out for that Spiderman said as the fat boy flopped on his back hitting his head on a brick wall.

Nice job kid a man in orange and brown tights said clapping his hands.

What is this a superhero fashion show Spiderman said notice a large group all wearing the similar outfits.

Who are you and you need some fashion tips anyway look at what your like wearing a clearly valley girl said smileing.

Ow i am Spiderman oh wait thats my signal right got to go i am assumeing your the cause your to much of a boyscout and you look to much like a philosper to be evil am i right Spiderman said point to a boy wearing goggles and a large blue fuzzy man.

Oh he is good the blue fuzzy man said as Spiderman lept onto the hood of a car and started swungung on his web.

Sorry to leave you but this is my ride Spiderman said landing on a police car.

Hey Spidey hows it going the police officer said sticking his head out of the window.

Tim hows it going man what are the odds i mean of all the police cars Spiderman said reconizeing the young man he remembered escueing him from some thugs at the docks.

Pretty good hey Carla made some cookies here have one Tim said tossing him one.

Man Carla is a great cook you got a real good one tim Spiderman said as he poped the cookie into his mouth under his mask.

I know how good i got it i just hate the fact that when we argue she goes into another language and wins Tim said jokeingly.

Oh i have to get off her Tim seeya later Spiderman said swinging off the car.

Hey is that a horn or are you just happy to seeee ugh iam to scared t finish my lame joke Spiderman said before getting knocked back by Rhino.

I am fine i just broke my ribs and my spine Spiderman said as he quickly ran after him.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Rhino screamed knocking Cars out of his way.

Hey thats not nice i hope that geicko covers damge by Rhino Spiderman said swooing in and and saveing people from getting smashed.

Raaa Rhino said coming to a constuction site.

Can you say anything else i mean seriously get a dictionary Spiderman said jumping up onto a platform and knocking several steall beams onto Rhino.

Raaaaaaa Rhino screamed kncoking the steel beams off him and throwing one at Spiderman.

Raaa Raaa ree kick em in the knee Raaa raa reel hit em with a steel beam Spiderman said picking up a beam and whacking Rhino in the head as he chaged at him.

Ooooh that had to hurt and Spiderman is once again the undefeated steel cage champion Spiderman said holding up his arm in triumph.

Man i am so late i got to get home Spiderman said moving as fast as he could.

-----Three minutes later---

Hey aunt May Peter said as he burst through the door.

Oh Peter your only five minutes late today aunt May said as che put diner on the table.

Well i got stuck on the subway Peter said smileing.

Ok ok eat diner then do your homework May said smileing a warm motherly smile.

--X-mens Pov next day--

That guy is so how are ve going to find him Krista asked looking toward Jean.

Well from his voice i can tell he is highschool student his voice wasn't full matured Hank said matter of factly.

Great so now we have to search every highschool in New york Bobby said calmly.

Ve could just vait for him to pop back up at a crime Krista said smileing.

We must identify him if we can Hank said as he started to divide them up into teams.

---several hours later----

Hey he looks like he is the right height Jean said pointing to a boy and trying to remember enough about him to identify him.

hey there he goes Krista said pointing to Spiderman swinging toward trouble.

You go ahead Krista il get the others Jean said as Krista took off.

----Spiderman Pov---

Why can't i just have one day where i jut go to school and be bored like every other Kid in new york Spiderman said frowning.

No no i had to get bitten by an irrated spider and get superpowers and have to save people from Superidiots Spiderman whined and landed on the ledge wathing the polie.

Herman Bates put down the money and release the hostages.

I didn't know you name was Herman shocker Spiderman said feeling like it was worth it to come here just to hear this.

Oh Spiderman can't you leave me alone Shoker whined frowning.

Sadly no cause New York is my turf and i have a responsibility as the only sane person with superpowers to stop ow and he is running Spiderman said swing after him.

Come on you can't outrun me just turn yourself in ill buy you a cheeseburger Spiderman said as he saw Shker cornered.

Oh man come on Shcoker said getting into a fighting stance.

My cheeseburger offer still stands Spiderman said as Shocker lauched a blast of electricity at him.

I got you bug boy Shocker said as Spiderman Dodged and shot webs into his hands causeing a short in his shock gloves.

Ha i swear its to easy some times Spidermn said suddenly senseing alot of danger.

Spiderman we came to see you Venom said swing into him and picking him up.

Oh really you came all this way just to see me and i wish you called i mean my hair is a mess Spiderman said sarcasticly as he twisted his way out of venoms grip.

Your going to die Parker Venom said lashing a tentacle at him.

My hair yeah i was thinking about a doing a nice blue and green thing you know to match the coustum Spiderman said as he acessed his surrondings he had to find some kind of loud noise.

Raaaaa Venom yelled chargeing at him.

Have you been getting speach lessons from Rhino Spiderman said suddenly seeing a church and developing a plan.

I am going to do horrible things to you Venom said as Spiderman narrowly avoided him.

Oh sorry Eddie but i don't swing that way Spiderman said as he used his webs to slingshot himself into Venoms back kicking him into the side of the church.

Die you bastard Venom said elbowing Spiderman in the ribs propelling him upwards.

Not exactly how i plained it but it wil do Spiderman said waiting for Venom to charge at him before he shot a web and jerked the bell sending the soundwaves that sent Venom into a fit off pain.

Agh Spiderman Venom yelped as he held his head in pain while Spiderman kept makeing the bell ring.

What i can't hear you the bell is to loud Spiderman said as a tentacle lashed out causeing him to leap.

Got you Venom said as he lashed another tentable to catching Spiderman in the side.

Wow dang it Venom Spiderman said as he fell then launched hiself back up to see Venom had retreated.

Ugh dang I got to get back to school Spiderman said as he jumped off the church.

---Krista's Pov-------

This guy moves fast i am exasted Krista said as she finally got close and saw him jumping off a church.

Vhat come on Krista said as she ran and teleported after him.

Oh i found his hideout hey vhats he doing Krista said as she saw him go into a window and followed a minute later.

Ugh Yeesh look at this he cut me pretty bad this time Spiderman said still wearing his mask as Krista caught a glimpse of his shirtless upperbody she noted at how well developed he had a sixpack and a chiseld chest.

_**Mein Gott i think he is made of marble Krista **_thought smileing.

Ugh yesh were are those bandages Spiderman said as he riffled through some drawers before grabbing some gaze.

_**Ok just stay in the corner and try not to drool to much **_Krista thought as he begain wrapping the bandages around homself.

There we go now do you mind telling me why your here Spiderman said not even looking over his shoulder.

I vas trying to find ju and ju vent into this building Krista said as she stepped out of the corner.

I see and you couldn't just say hey wait up you were trying to see me without my mask Spiderman said accusingly.

Vell jah but i am from the Xavier school for de gifted youngsters ve vanted to talk to ju about jur powers Krista said seeing him turn around to face her.

Look if your going to follow someone and you make puffs of smoke when you teleport then you want to stay down wind Spiderman said she noticed that he had not taken an aggresive stance.

Xavier vants to talk to ju ve von't make ju take off your mask Krista said timidly getting the feeling his eyes were traceing her body.

Well you know i could use some more friends i mean it seems the ratio has shifted to enemys Spiderman said scratching his masked head.

Good how about ju come with me and ve can go Krista was interupted by him.

Can't meet me here tommrow about noonish Spiderman said as he grabbed his backpack and slipped another coustume top.

Ugh ok I vill meet ju here Tommrow Krista said feeling slightly embarrased she releazed she had been staring at his body the entire time and he had probably noticed.

----Peter Parker Pov--

_**Woot just made it to take this stupid test aunt May would have my head if i missed this test she has already been on me for missing classes **_Peter thought about how Spiderman was getting in the way in his studies.

Ok you may begin and remember this is twenty five percent of your grade the teacher said as he passed the exams out.

_**Oh look who is sitting next to me again Dash is going to try and cheat off me i think i will write the wrong answers wait for him to take his nap then refill in my questions before time is up **_Peter thought as he hapily begain picking all the wrong answers and made sure Dash could see.

---the next day at noon------

Wow there late Spiderman said looking around curiously.

Holy crap they got a jet Spiderman said seeing a large jet land next to the building.

Hey over here Krista said waveing at him.

Wow you guys like to travel in style huh Spideran said admireing the jet.

Yeah kid we got to cover alot more ground than just Newyork though a large gruff man said.

Well sadly my budget is rather limited Spiderman said patting his sides.

So vhere di ju learn to fight like dat Krista said as Logan prepared to take off.

I am not telling Spiderman said calmly.

Vhat vhy not Krista said frowning.

He doesn't want anyone to know about him Logan said matter of factly.

Now now ill make a deal i ask a question and then you get to ask one and i reseve the right to efuse a question Spiderman said feeling curious to what he was getting himself into.

Ok fine vith me Krista said thinking about her first question.

Are you guys with the government Spiderman asked Smileing.

No vhere did you learn to fight like that Krista asked smileing.

I am taught by experence who is your head guy SPiderman asked speaking truthfully.

Proffesor Xavier Vhere did you get Spiderman Krista asked tilting her head.

Wait not your turn its his SPiderman said pointing to the gruff man.

Ok how did you know those atacks where coming the man asked keping his eyes ahead of him.

I have this thing i call it my spider sense it lets me know when danger is comeing what are you guys names Spiderman asked feeling safer.

I am Krista he is Logan and Vhere did ju get Spiderman Krista asked curiously.

It was given to me where is this Xavier school Spiderman asked.

Bayville how old are you Logan asked simply.

Teenage whats it like to teleport Spiderman asked finding it appealing.

Its great i can show ju some time do jur parents know about ju Krista asked suddenly seeing his body seem to stiffen.

They died when i was a kid how many of you guys are there Spiderman asked feeling the need to shift the subject.

Ugh i am so sorry Krita said feeling awkward and guilty for bringing it up.

Twenty whats the first letter of your name logan asked frowning.

Not answering that one Spiderman said smileing.

----Six hours later----------

So this place is here to help kids with powers huh Spiderman said looking around the room.

That is correct from what my team tellls me you have quite a few enimies we would like to offer our asssitance Proffeser Xavier said.

Ok but i got to stay in Newyork i cna help you on weekends and after school as long as i am home by eleven Spiderman said happily.

So are ju going to take off that mask Krista asked feelingi ncrediblecurious.

No my identity will remain a secret why cause i can and no mind reading Spiderman said calmly.

---Later on that night Kristas Pov dream sequence-----------

Ugh vhy vont he show his face Krista Said crossing her arms in frustration.

I said i wouldn't show them i might show you if you show me Spiderman said crouched on her balcony.

Ugh Spiderman Krista said practically feeling her jaw hit the floor he was shirtless and completely covered in what she thought was sweat.

I know you liked what you saw in the warehouse how bout i let you see a litle more and i get to see something Spiderman said stepping toward her agresively.

I i i vha are ju doing Krista said suddenly feeling the weight of his hands on her hips.

Come on touch if you want Spiderman said hapily.

Ugh iii Krista hands begain traceing his muscle.

---end of dream------------

Ugh Vhat Krista said jerking up hearing kncoks on the door.

Its time to get up Rogue yelled loudly.

I vas haveing a good dream Krista said feeling a moistness inbetween her legs.

Yeah well we got training this morning and Spiderman is hear Rougue said emphazing the last part hearing her sister bolt out of bed and begin gettting ready.

I ll be down in a minute Krista said as she hurriedly worked herself for a while.

So easy Rougue said as she lazyly walked toward the stairs knowing her sister would be running down the hall in a few seconds and not teleporting so it wouldn't mess up her perfume.

Come on we got training Krista said holding herself up.

You aren't usually this excited about training Rouge said happily.

Well i just wanted to see vhat this Spider kid can do you know not some amateur can take on the whole brotherhood alone Krista said defensively.

True true but he definately has no sense of fashion Rogue said frowning.

I dont know its kind of cool looking Krist said as she jumped on the banester and begain slideing down.

So this danger room is a traing similator Spiderman said as he swung from his web and looked at the console.

Yes we want to gauge your abilitys so we are going to let you do this one by yourself Proffesor Xavier said his voice muffled by the door.

What are you doing Rouge asked watching Krista ajust her hair and shirt in the mirrior.

Nothing Ve should get in der Krista said grabbing the door knob and being pulled forward by someone else oepning the door from the inside.

Hey you ok Spiderman said as Krista looked up at him realizeing she had fallen onto his chest.

Oh this is just perfect Rouge said laughing lightly.

Jes i am fine Krista said bolting to a standing position.

Ok now where is this danger room Spiderman said as he looked at the proffesor.

Follow me Proffesor Xavier said pondering about Rouges previous comment.

Yes sir hey i heard you can read minds you not reading mine right Spiderman said nervously.

Do not be afraid i respect the privvacy of everyones mind oh Krista i need you to go pick up a part for the X-jet Proffesor Xavier said smileing.

Ok proffesor Krista said sounding slightly dissappointed.

Here these are the directions Proffesor Xavier said handing her a piece of paper.

------Several hours later---------

Hey Krista your boyfriend can kick ass Bobby said grinning as he passed Krista.

Vhere is Spiderman Krista said ignoreing Bobbys attempt at humor.

He is getting some lunch Bobby said pointing in the direction of the dineing room.

You know i just love free food Spiderman said happily as he slowly ate makeing sure not to show his face.

Your a strange boy said as Krista stepped in the room.

Ugh hello Spiderman Proffesor i put the box in the hanger Krista said smileing a Spiderman.

Hey Krista hows it going Spiderman said with a mouthfull of biscuit.

Hey Krista I was just tellin him about you Rogue said in a taughting manner.

Vhat Krista said unhapily.

Yeah she said you were an acrobat in the circus thats really cool Spiderman said completely unawar to what was happening.

Jes i vas so Spiderman are ju an acrobat Krista said feeling embarrased and makeing sure she would get back at her sister for this she was slightly ashamed of her circus history.

Nope never been one sports don't really interest me Spiderman said as he slipped another piece of meat under his mask.

Do you feed on the blood of other people said rather curious how much of a spider he was.

No i don't Spiderman said caught offgaurd.

I see how bout eggs do you lay eggs said interested.

No hey Krista you said you would take me teleporting Spiderman said happily.

Oh jah lets go Krista said senseing her sister was about to make a comment as she grabed his should and teleported away.

Wow what the ugh Spiderman said as he tried to stand without wobbleing.

Are ju ok Krista asked as he leaned onto her to stay steady. **I am such a perv i should not be enjoy how he is leaning his big hard musclely body **Krista thought

Yeah i am fine my stomach just needs a second to catch up Spiderman said standing on his own.

Jah sorry i forget people arn't used to it Krista said slightly dissappointed that he wasn't leaning on her anymore.

Its cool it was great lets do it again Spiderman said feeling himself regain his bearings.

Vere do ju vant to go dis time Krista said smileing happily.

----------several hours later---------------------------

This has been a blast but i got to get home Spiderman said as they clung to the ceiling.

Ok i vill see ju next weekend den Krista said sounding slighly dissappointed.

Hey since you were so cool about teleporting me around i should take you web sling how bout Monday around five Spiderman said to her makeing sure to sound a little flirtatious.

Jah that vould be great Krista said embarrased how ath ow eager she sounded.

Later Spiderman said as he swung in the dirextion of the hanger.

Jah that vould be great oh kiss me Spiderman i vant to have jur babies Rogue said imatateing her accent.

Shut up Krsta said irratated at her sister.

I am sorry its just i can barely stand to see you through yourself at some guy you barely know anything about Rogue said her voice laced with sisterly concern.

I know stuff about him and i am not throwing myself at him Krista said sounding defensive.

You don't even know what he looks like Rogue said as she suddenly saw her sisters eyes glaze over.

Nein i don't know vhat his face looks like he is very nicely built Krista said as she passed her sister.

Oh my Gawd you seen him naked Rogue said chaseing after her sister

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Me: Hey everybody today we have the special guest of Spiderman

Spiderman: Hi hows it going

Me:Good good oh hey your getting leid next chapter

Spiderman:What i just meet this girl

Me:Dude your such a chick

Spiderman: I don't want to get an std

Me:First of all Krista is a catholic and secondly wth man ain't you ever heard of protection.

Spiderman: Yes i have and catholic women are crazy

Me: True true


End file.
